Reflections on Singleness

Any day now, my son will be born. I am having irregular contractions as I write this devotion. This period of waiting has caused me to be reflective about my life. As I consider my wonderful husband, the life that we are building together, our son that is on the way, and the goals that we have set as a family, I have one thought: God has given me the desires of my heart. It was not that long ago that I was asking God for a husband. I also remember that while waiting on God, I was looking for ways to get all that I could out of my singleness. This devotion is dedicated to those who are single and waiting on God for a mate. I found two short verses of scripture that I believe will bless you. Here is the first one:

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.” ~ Psalm 62:5

I love that the verse tells us to find rest in God. This is a good anecdote for the person who has gotten tired of dating aimlessly—jumping from relationship to relationship. I’ve seen men and women do this for such a long period time that by the time they become tired of dating, they don’t even know who they are anymore. They spent years accommodating the “person of the moment,” developing a taste for that person’s likes and dislikes. It got to a point that they couldn’t give an authentic answer to the basic question, “What do you do for fun?” They would probably know who there were if they’d simply spent some time alone.

Find rest in God. If you are unhappy with your singleness, jumping into a relationship is not going to fill the void. It will be a temporary solution to a void that it cannot fill. And as soon as you realize the void is still there, you will leave that relationship for the next one, hoping that the next one can do what the previous one couldn’t. What does it mean to rest in God? It means to bring all of your desires to him. If you are lonely, tell him. If you are longing for a mate, tell him. If you are frustrated, tell him. The amazing thing about God is that he has the ability to fulfill every need that we have.

You might wonder: Well, Sheridan, I am horny. How is God going to fulfill that need? God is powerful enough to quiet that desire until the appropriate time comes for it to be awakened. My husband and I can testify to this. I think he is the finest man in the world, and I know he thinks I’m pretty fly. But with God at the center of our relationship before we were married, we were able to fight for our purity. We fought for God’s reign in our lives because we wanted God’s blessing. If a sexual appetite keeps you restless, be real with God about it. He already knows about it anyway.

Here’s the second verse: “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” ~Psalm 62:8

This is for those who have trust issues. Maybe you’ve been cheated on, deceived, or completely taken advantage of. Maybe you grew up in a household that did not provide a model of what a healthy relationship looks like. Whatever the case, your experience has made it difficult for you to trust the men or women that you date. I was one of these people. I was cheated on. I was lied to. I was taken for granted. I felt like I did not know how to trust men anymore and I became so frustrated that I took a complete break from dating. The scripture that helped me with this is Proverbs 3:5—Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.” I had to learn to put my trust in God, rather than the men I was dating. For me, not leaning on my own understanding meant trusting God for discernment. I did not need to spy on my suitors because by exchanging my understanding for God’s I could trust him to reveal any deceitfulness that might be taking place. I cannot tell you how much peace I had once I learned to trust God in my relationships. By the time I met my husband, I had so much peace in this area that I felt free enough to get to know him. I was free enough for God to take the relationship where he wanted it to go. And let me tell you—the discernment was so strong that I even had a dream of becoming engaged to him months before he even proposed.

Be honest with God about your loneliness, sexuality, frustration and anything else that you might feel. If you are feeling impatient, talk to him about it. My prayer is for my single brothers and sisters to become comfortable with this period of singleness, while continuing to trust God with the future.

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About SheridanRichards

Many companies have policy and management challenges. I've met many people who have started nonprofits, but don't know how to manage or fund them. I can assist you with strategic planning and executing your big vision. I have over a decade of leadership experience and a strong track record in organizational development, human resources management, and fund development. I've worked with teams to build organizations from the ground up, expand donor bases, and raise three-quarters of a million dollars. I know what works. You will save time and energy if you hire me to assist you. I provide solutions in: Nonprofit Management, Organizational Development, Board Development, Fund Development Strategies, Community Engagement, Administration, Strategic Planning, Budgeting, Process Mapping, Policy Development, Human Resources Management, Benefits, Classification, Compensation, Employee Relations, Recruitment, Risk Management, Training. Contact me for a free 30-minute consultation. View all posts by SheridanRichards

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